Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
