dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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