He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
