sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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