hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
