In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
too bad you live with your parents still
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
