If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
