Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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