Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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