very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
