Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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