Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
