i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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