Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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