Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
