Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
