Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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