You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize