I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
