There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I love you. Go after that dick
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
