your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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