How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
