I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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