I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
