Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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