just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
