The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
