He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
