planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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