i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
