You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
