I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
