I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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