I don't think brook has ever known best
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
