he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
