I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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