I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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