Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
