Banned from zoo.
Again?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And then my night got REAL pukey
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
