I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize