please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
