WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
