So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
