You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
