sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize