trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
