I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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