i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
