Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
