There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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