Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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