Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
