none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
