when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
