i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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