if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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