how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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