You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
