I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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