i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize