Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
