You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize