we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize