Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
