i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
