Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
