Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
