i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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