Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
