a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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