I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
don't judge my taste in strippers
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
