oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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