Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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