She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
