I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
