I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
