i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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